I recently had a meeting with my college counselor. It went as well as can be expected with the way I left things before my gap year. When I decided to take my gap year it was in the middle of fall semester 2020. I was doing my math class (which i suck at math hardcore) couldn’t figure out the problem. Called my friend and she came to save me. She found me sitting on my dad’s front porch smoking a cigarette. I was major stressed.
Everything she was trying to teach me was going in one ear out the other. I couldn’t seem to grasp the concept at all. I was staring at the screen, closed it, and looked at her and said “I need to go for a drive”.
She took me on a drive and I just remember thinking “I cannot go back and do that”. I didn’t go back and do it. At all. I failed the class and all the other classes I had enrolled in that semester. If you ask me it was inevitable that I take a gap year. I would even say I should have taken one after high school.
I quit going to class, but I waited to tell my parents. Anytime they would ask how school was I would just say good. When semester ended I told them “I’m taking a year off, I’ll go back when it’s in person.” There was covid in it’s heights at this time. It was the perfect excuse.
I took the gap year. It was so nice not having to worry about school. However, I found myself kind of missing going to class and learning about things. Fall 2021 rolls around and I am regretting not going back to school for that semester. One thing I kept reminding myself of though was to take the full year off. Once I start again I don’t plan on stopping again. That I needed to take the full year and I can go back in January.
Finally, I was like I need to start the process of getting back into school. I made an appointment with my counselor and almost did not go. I really wanted to sleep in and I made it early like an idiot. Plus, I can just make another one. I’ll get around to it. Right? I woke up early that morning without an alarm. I was like this is a sign. I need to go.
I went and it was brutal having to look at all my failed classes. Knowing I have to repeat them will be the bane of my existence come spring. I was sitting in that chair going over everything I needed to do to be able to get my gpa up, have credits, and transfer and I was like “holy shit” why did I fail so hard. Why didn’t I take my classes more serious when I was there.
We came up with a plan and I said “I feel good, I feel ready.” This man looked at me and said “Don’t feel ready, be ready.”
I was instantly pulled into a memory of my friend saying to me “I was thinking about what you said, how you just have to do it” and if that isn’t the truth. There are some things in life you just can’t feel. You just have to do them.
Taking a gap year was one of the first big just do it’s I have done in my life and it will not be my last. (Hello Mr. Styles November 13th). Life is so much better when you simply do what you have been saying you are going to do. You feel so much more accomplished when you do what you have been meaning to do.
You can talk and plan and talk and plan, but at the end of the day are you doing it? Thinking about things is an endless cycle we all can get lost in. I do it all the time. Sometimes you just have to say fuck it! You can get so much more done when you just do it instead of sitting around talking about it.
Do the things you want to do. You have one life to do what it is you want. The worst that happens is you do it and you hate it. Even then it will probably be a really good story. Travel, drink, spend time, start a hobby, write a book, take more pictures. Whatever it is you have been meaning to do, simply do it!!!!!
With my thoughts on the internet,
RJC
With my thoughts on the internet 